無辜的小鬼（中英）　宣化上人主講

那是一條命！

It is a Life!

◎凱西‧陳
Cathie Chen

那是一條命，不能隨心所欲，不能當玩笑，不能隨意帶來，又隨意奪走的一條命！
It is a life; a life that can't be treated lightly or as we wish,
a life that can't be brought into being or be terminated as we please!

幾年前，學姐迷上算命，到處打聽「很準」的算命師，到處算命樂此不疲，路途再遠、排隊再久也要去「 問一下」。那幾年，我對生活和工作，甚至是對自己都不滿意，也希望能有高人指點，給條新的路，讓我能好地發揮所長；學姐則是一心一意想要嫁個有錢的好老公。因此，只要她聽到哪裏有什麼人很厲害，就會請假要我陪她去。
   　    
Several years ago, a friend ahead of me in school was crazy about getting her fortune told. She looked for fortune tellers who were “very accurate,” and enjoyed listening to predictions about her life so much that she never got tired, regardless of how far she had to go or how long she had to wait in line. At that time, I was not satisfied with my life, my job and even with myself. So I hoped to meet a “superior person” who could direct me onto a new path, where I can fully develop and use my skills. My friend was wishing wholeheartedly to marry a wealthy man, so as soon as she heard about someone whose predictions were accurate, she would take a break from work and asked me to go with her.
   　    
最後一次跟她去算命，是去一個只要有你的名字和生肖，就可以把妳過去的一切，如數家珍說給你聽的「怪怪的阿姨」。聽說有一個同學去找她，因為不信她的話，她就把同學家附近的樣子形容給她聽，嚇得她點頭如搗蒜。我覺得很有意思，所以學姐一提，我也很樂意陪著去。其實這些算命師，不知道為什麼，都不太回答我的問題，我問什麼，他們都說「妳沒問題」，然後就不理我；說真的很浪費錢和時間。相反的，每次學姐都問到我打瞌睡，而輪到我卻都是三兩句就結束。
   　    
The last time I went with my friend for fortune telling, we visited a fortune-teller who looked really strange. As long as you gave her your name and zodiac sign, she was able to tell you about your past in great detail. I heard that one of my schoolmates visited this fortune teller. When my schoolmate didn’t believe her, she described the surroundings of the schoolmate's home, and scared the schoolmate into nodding nonstop at whatever she said. I thought this story was quite interesting, therefore when my friend mentioned her wish to visit this fortune teller, I was very happy to go with her. Actually, I still don’t know why none of the fortune tellers we visited really answered my questions. No matter what I asked, they all replied, “You don’t have any problems,” then ignored me. To be honest, these visits were really a waste of time and money. In contrast, every time we went to a fortune teller, my friend kept on asking questions until I fell asleep. However, when it was my turn, the fortune telling consisted of only two or three sentences.
   　    
這次和往常一樣，我被「妳很好，沒問題」就打發掉。跟著學姐就開始問東問西：現在的男友好嗎？會不會花？會不會賺錢？賺錢會不會給她用？幾時會娶她……哇啦哇啦，聽得我好想睡。突然……那個算命阿姨叫她不要再問男朋友的事，她有事想問學姐，她說：「跟在妳後面那三個是什麼？」我的天哪，睡意全沒了，她問那是什麼啊！！！
   　    
In this last visit, just like other visits to fortune tellers, I was dismissed by “You are fine, you don’t have any problems.” Then my friend started to ask all sorts of questions about her boyfriend, such as whether her boyfriend is good, whether he is faithful, whether he can earn a lot of money, whether he will let her use the money, when will he marry her . . . blah, blah, blah. I felt so sleepy just listening to her questions. Suddenly, the fortune teller told my friend to stop because she had something to ask my friend. She said, “Who are those three following you?” Good Heavens, what kind of question was that?! In an instant, my sleepiness was all gone.
   　    
我在桌下撞學姐的腳，她示意要我安靜；氣氛突然很緊張，算命阿姨站起來拿了張黃色的紙，不知道在寫什麼。學姐哭了起來，她問是男孩還是女孩？他們想幹嘛？會害她嗎？我突然聽懂了，啊，是嬰靈！學姐拿過……三次！！！後來那個阿姨還說了什麼我全忘了，只記得學姐一直哭。那個阿姨要我們去燒金紙，然後到樓上拜觀世音菩薩。
   　    
I bumped my friend’s leg under the table, but she signaled me to be quiet. The atmosphere in the room was suddenly very tense. The fortune teller stood up to fetch a piece of yellow paper, and wrote something on it that I couldn’t read. My friend started to cry, and asked whether they were boys or girls, what did they want, and whether they would hurt her? I suddenly understood -- the “they” being referred to were infant spirits! This would mean my friend had an abortion . . . three times!!! I totally forgot what the fortune-teller said after that. I just remembered that my friend kept on crying, and the fortune teller instructing us to burn paper money (as “offerings” to the infant spirits) and to bow to Guan Shr Yin Bodhisattva.
   　    
後來，我再也沒跟著學姐去算命，但我知道她偶爾還是會偷偷去。我知道她做了好多次超度，她也要我幫忙去問如何「供養嬰靈」的事。我想到她曾跟我說過「住外面會害怕，偶而會看到很像小孩的『東西』躲在桌下，跟她玩抓迷藏。」我記得我跟她說，可能是房子的問題，要她試著念佛……原來……事情另有隱情。
   　    
After this experience, I never went with my friend for fortune telling again, but she continued to go occasionally. I knew that she sponsored ways to cross over the infant spirits many times, and she also asked me to help her by finding out how to “make offerings” to infant spirits. It occurred to me that she had told me: “When I lived off-campus I was scared. Sometimes I could see ‘something’ resembling a child under my desk and played hide-and-seek with me.” I remembered telling her that there probably was something wrong with her apartment, and told her to recite the Buddha’s name. As it turned out, she had secrets that I didn’t know.
   　    
這幾天，法師問我，能不能畫畫插圖，道場要出一本和「墮胎」有關的書。當我讀法師傳來的文章時，整個人緊繃，腦沖血的感覺一直不能退；我必須坦誠，我一定勸過有類似問題的朋友：「如果真的不行，就拿掉也比較好。」「妳也不是故意的，不會有問題。」
   　    
A few days ago, a Dharma Master asked me whether I could draw some illustrations for a book about abortion that DRBA plans to publish. When I was reading the manuscript that the Dharma Master sent me, I felt tense all over and my blood was rushing to my head. I couldn’t shake this feeling for a long time. I have to be honest. I was having such a reaction because I have given some pregnant friends advice such as “If there is no other way, you are better off with an abortion,” and “You didn’t do this on purpose, so everything will be all right.”
   　    
我讀了宣公上人的開示和法師們對「墮胎」的說法，我真的害怕了！是一條命，那是一條命！因為一時的歡樂或氣氛帶來的一個生命，卻因為不在預期中，或想省麻煩或其他的原因，就被帶來又奪去。我想大哭，我說錯話了！我怎麼可以是非不分地勸說朋友，讓她們放心，而一再又再地犯這個滔天大罪？讀完法師傳給我的內容，我努力冷靜想要快點畫點東西出來，因為法師們在等。我邊畫邊抖，真的好怕！如果我早點學佛，如果我有心認真跟隨上人學佛，我不會變成墮胎的幫兇；我的朋友、學姐也能早點知錯、認錯，誠心求懺悔。我知道她們雖然不曾說過，但其實非常地後悔，經常都掛著自己做過的事，到處打聽哪有高人能幫忙超度；這個懊悔將跟著一輩子，永生不忘。
   　    
After I read the Venerable Master Hua's Dharma talks and what other Dharma Masters said about abortion, I was really frightened. I realized that a fetus is a life, it really is a life! A life that was brought into this world due to momentary pleasure, and then the very same life was extinguished because the pregnancy was unplanned, or having a child would cause problems, or for some other reasons. I wanted to weep, because I had said the wrong things to my friends! How could I have advised my friends without distinguishing between right and wrong, and told them not to worry so they could commit such terrible offenses again and again? After finishing reading the manuscript of this book, I tried very hard to compose myself. I wished to come up with some drawings quickly, because the Dharma Masters are waiting for them. I was trembling as I drew, because what I did really scared me. If I had learned the Buddhadharma earlier, if I had sincerely and diligently studied the Buddhadharma with the Venerable Master, I would not have become an accomplice to an abortion. In addition, my friend ahead of me in school and my other friends would have realized and admitted to their mistakes earlier, and repent and reform with sincerity. Although none of my friends have said so, I know they really regret having their abortions. What they did seemed to be always on their minds, for they keep on searching for “superior people” who can help them to cross over the spirits of their aborted children. An unforgettable sense of remorse follows them for the rest of their lives.
   　    
學姐去年結婚了，也生小孩了，但因為工作的關係，我沒去看過她，也沒見過小嬰孩。她跟我說小孩很難帶，晚上哭不停，一定要抱著睡，不能躺。她不得不辭去工作在家帶小孩，整個人精疲力盡，白天幾乎都不能休息，晚上也不能睡，快沒力氣了。我不知道小孩難帶，半夜亂哭，和她之前做過的事有沒有關係。但我很希望這本書，我能親手交給她，我要和她一起求懺悔，好好地重新審視自己面對生命的態度。雖然是母腹裏的一塊肉，但那是一條命，不能隨心所欲，不能當玩笑，不能隨意帶來，又隨意奪走的一條命！
   　    
My friend ahead of me in school got married last year, and she had a baby. I haven't visited her and met her baby due to my work schedule. Over the phone, she told me it was really difficult to take care of her baby, because he kept on crying in the evenings and he had to be held in order to fall asleep and stay asleep. She had no choice but to resign from her job so she could take care of her baby. Since she barely had time to rest during the day and couldn’t sleep at night due to the baby, she was so exhausted that she was at the verge of collapse. I don't know whether these difficulties with her baby, who cries through the night, have anything to do with her past. However, I hope I can give her this book in person, so she and I can repent together and re-examine our attitude toward a life. Although a fetus may be just a piece of flesh in a mother’s womb, it is a life; a life that can’t be treated lightly or as we wish, a life that can’t be brought into being or be terminated as we please!